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Buried Feelings

I woke this morning, feeling sensations flow through me of long ago feelings I had locked away as a child. As an innocent child it's worth noting.

I read a random instagram post. My instagram isnt filled with 1000 things I'm following, so I get a lot of those suggestions to follow. It was one of those. It was a post sharing how buried feelings can manifest in clumsiness.

To tie this to me and what became available to feel again after years of applying gentleness, comfort, and compassion, was a random sharing of the post and my past with someone of how I don't have a middle name, but Grace was inserted for my tendencies to run into so many inanimate objects.

Just revisiting that with a new awareness of why I may have been so clumsy, and reflecting me to me, rather than reflecting what others say or think about me, I unleashed, like a torrent, all this sense of anger and helplessness I experienced as a child with a history of emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. Its said that 25% of kids are abused sexually btw.

As I regained the grace of my innocent self, I thought of any one of you. How, a random sentence like any of the above, could be the very one you have been holding your heart wide open for to hear. The one sentence or awareness as you self reflect in eternal love, believing still that there is and must be something heavenly, something of absolute goodness yet within you, that bursts the dam holding in place for you all of your essential expression into the world.

I smiled at myself with love and tenderness as I let go to let free the me that I am and have always been. I find more tears welling up as it's only been hours but those tears are for me, they help me, they release parts of me I kept under lock and key.

I get to pay forward how I experience life and set my intention to be available to hold your hand as you experience life, and maybe, you will be the one next to share a single sentence with another that bursts their heart free....

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