Lately, around the early early morning hours, I'm brought into semi-consciousness to experience healing shifts.
The last one reintegrated my version of self at 15 years of age. The mechanism that provided it is absolutely not anything I could have thought of for myself. So as I contemplate the magic of it all, I am dominated by the awareness that the keys to healing oneself is being willing to be already whole, to allow the healing to become you, to openly receive the coded messages of love even if your brain isn't yet connecting the information, to not have an attachment of a condition on how you will be reintegrated. Mind you, these are not short orders to overcome!! So, let me tell you a tale!
I am currently in my 50's and like most of us, I come with a history of wounds, dynamics, relationships, attitudes, and stuck emotions. Despite all that, I also come wholly into my present moment with internal resources of fierce love and tenderness for my self, soul, spirit, being, whatever name fits that indefinable essence... and having chosen the route of walking a full circle, along the way my view is shifted in angles and stuff comes along and just amplifies all that is really true and really true love.
Oh, I might add that this year, 2022, my word is synchronicity. That isn't to say that I don't play a part, it is to say that determining that I want to be synced up with love, caring, provision, and security, opens me to opportunities to get my needs met in fantastic ways.
Now, If you had asked me today, in random conversation, whether I wanted to reconnect to my wonderful 15-year-old self via some family interaction, I probably would have replied, depends on who you want me to connect to. But because I asked Spirit to have all of my life more synchronized, I didn't have to do a thing other than recognizing an opportunity!
It came via my 23 and Me account. A relative popped up as a 1st cousin. This isn't all that usual unless you and your immediate family all go in and sign up. What makes this more unusual, is that I thought I had a pretty good understanding of who my cousins were.
While we are still hashing out the details as my cousin's mom had a sealed adoption, the door that opened, I stepped through and reached out to my other relatives, with conversations ensuing.
Those conversations were conveyed to my parents and the air blew in freshness or blew out some dust and uncovered some family chapters not previously discussed. In that process my witnessing the experiences of the prior generations, lent a hand in fresh wound debriding and disinfecting to allow for healing. I reconciled the impact of my parent's past upon my past with my parents, shedding the impact on my wanting to hold on to my hurt, anger, pain, disillusionment, judgment, and sorrow. I am in acceptance of each of these experiences, and in acceptance of love's greater power to hold me true and empower me. It was a few days later, in the early morning hours, I felt my 15 year old self that I disconnected somewhere inside me, for safekeeping, returned like a flower opening to the first rays of the sun. I had done a fairly good job of shutting her away within me and it was such an incredible release of stress hormones and fill of safe hormones that i awoke feeling youth filled, alive, and happy.
I just would love to invite you to strengthen your framework of internal love and affection for yourself. For you, from you, to consider giving permission to your higher self and to those in spirit who love you that you are willing and able to receive being loved, so much so that you will be granted a grand viewpoint such as this to experience. Be well, til we meet again! J
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